I am all for embodying the fresh energy of the new year and for me, an essential part of that involves choosing to let go of the past. That’s not always easy and if you’re anything like me, you will probably spend a fair bit of your time worrying and focussing on the mistakes or choices that you have previously made.

In years gone by, I wasted much of my time doing exactly this and it was an experience that always started my new year on a downer.

But for the past two years, I’ve created a process that has helped me to combat this self-sabotage and, in its place,  I have created a healthy system of reflection and planning.

Over those few days that sit between Christmas and the New Year, I like to spend some time reflecting on the past year, taking the time to journal on the lessons I learnt and the vibes that I want to reclaim.

I use this process to reset my mind, declutter my space and update my systems ensuring that I start the new year without any of the baggage or bad energy.

This year, I wanted to blog about some of these reflections in the hopes that it will help you start your new year off on a positive foot too.

Grab a cuppa because this post is a lot longer than it was meant to be…..

Client success stories |

This year was a really good year for me freelance wise and in October, I managed to land the biggest client ever. It was a success that followed a lot of money mindset work and one that took me by surprised.

One of my 2019 goals was for me to work on my money mindset and although it pretty much took the whole year for me to actually feel like I had made any progress, I did eventually get there in the end. By October, I could see the remarkable shifts that my money mindset had experienced and although it is still something that I am still working on, I had started to feel differently towards money.

It was this process that had helped me to understand how badly I had been under charging for my work and so I set the intention to ensure that I only attracted abundant clients.

Having been asked to write for a gambling firm over the summer of 2019, I was surprised to then be approached by a much larger and more established firm. I was asked to create a load of high-quality content for their website and each article would pay a fee way above anything that I had experienced before. That month, I manifested £6000 from this one client alone.

For me, that is one of my key achievements for 2019 and it helped me to reframe everything I had previously thought about money.

Mindset shifts |

As alluded to above, I have spent a lot of time working on my mindset over the course of 2019 – and not just my money mindset. Having discovered the Law of Attraction (again) in 2018, I decided that 2019 would be the year that I finally put it all into practice. It definitely worked and for me, 2019 will always be defined by the massive mindset shifts that I made.

Reframing obstacles |

Just when you think that things are finally going right for you, there and then life will always throw you a curveball and I believe that it’s just part of our journey. But that’s not always how I chosen to view things.

In fact, for as long as I can remember, I have been living in victim mode, perceiving my life to be a pathetic mixture of bad choices and unavoidable circumstances. Life has always felt hard and when you understand some of what happened during my lifetime, it’s easy to see how it felt that way. It was frustrating and started to feel unfair, with me almost believing that the universe had it in for me.

This year, I made a conscious choice to change how I viewed these obstacles and instead of seeing them as boulders that have been placed in my path, I now chose see them as obstacles that I can easily overcome.

It’s my belief that we are all placed on earth for a reason, to learn some crucial soul lesson and challenges are just part of that process. We are souls that are having a human experience and so that means that we are often faced with barriers that we have to overcome.

These may be in the form of lessons and in that case, you may notice that you are thrown the same challenges over and over again. If you don’t learn the lesson, the universe will almost certainly repeat it for you. One look at my relationship history tells you exactly what lessons I have learnt the hard way (story come soon).

On other occasions, these obstacles may be placed in our path to help us understand something about that particular goal or ambition. Perhaps they are to show us that we are not on the right path or maybe they are to help us understand the things we should be doing.

This has been a massive – and hugely beneficial – realisation for me this year. Now, when I face an obstacle, I ask myself a few simple questions – what is the universe trying to show me? Is there a better way for me to get there? What are the intentions behind this move?

There’s a beautiful card that relates to this in the Universe Has Your Back card deck by my fave Gabrielle Berstein. I will pop a picture of this one card in below, but I definitely suggest grabbing yourself a back, I use mine daily.  

The art of growing up |

As I am writing this blog post, I have started to wonder about my childhood and although it was mostly a happy time, I’m not sure that I ever liked being a kid. I mean, I loved toys as much as the next person and I still have a childish heart, but I always found it hard to fit in anywhere.

I was kinda awkward, kinda anxious and never a very confident person. So, in that regard, I have loved growing up. Nowadays, I am not at all shy, I am pretty confident, and I can do things that 10-year-old me would never have even dreamed of. But this year, adulthood started to hit me really hard.

For all the reasons that I have loved growing up, this year, all the negatives seemed to present themselves.

The truth is, I’ve been pretty lucky in terms of bereavement and aside from my great grandmother, I’ve never faced it head on. It’s always been a far-off concept for me and not something that I have really thought about.

This year, that all changed and towards the end of the year, someone close was diagnosed with terminal cancer. For the first time in my entire life, I was forced to face up to this and to accept that death was now part of my life. After all, as I grow up and older, so to do my loved ones.

I’m the kind of person that hates uncertainty, but death is the ultimate uncertainty and as whacky as it might sound, that’s just something that I have had to learn to be ok with.

So, I got to reading, because although I know that I believe in reincarnation and there being something more, I also know that I don’t believe in God. At least not in the traditional sense of the word.

At the end of 2019, I read the book Life After Life by Raymond Moody and oh my god (ironic) it was exactly what I needed to read. For those who have not come across this book, it is solely based on the accounts of those that have had ‘near death experiences. Looking at numerous accounts, Moody has been able to draw a number of similarities and paint a picture of what death may look and feel like. I knew that this had to be my first port of call having seen Renee Amberg talk about it on her YouTube channel.

It’s a beautiful book and, if as accurate as I personally believe, it heavily suggests that we are indeed just souls having a human experience. Regardless, it made me feel a lot better about things and helped me to let go of the overwhelming sadness that I was facing.

Of course, I still feel sad about the situation and grief is inevitable but I don’t fear death or even perceive death in the way that I once had.

Spending choices |

The plan is that 2020 will be the year that I truly feel into the vibe of being abundant and with that I have chosen to reassess where I am spending my money.

As a result of some careful budget assessment, I have chosen to priorities the spending habits that help me to feel into the feelings of being wealthy, without breaking the bank.

For me, that’s things like going to the cinema every few weeks, seeing some of the awesome new shows that are coming to the Welsh Millennium Centre, treating myself to a few items of clothing each month and buying one or two coffees a week.

These are the activities that help me to feel as if I am already living my dream life but don’t overly drain my bank account. In order for me do this guilt free (one of my biggest mindset revelations of the year – more to follow) I decided to cancel some of the other unessential expenses that I was facing each month.

These turned out to be things such as subscriptions that I wasn’t really using but just hadn’t got around to cancelling, things that I knew I could easily do at home or impulse purchases that were not serving my greater good (Primark hauls anyone?).

I am entering 2020 with a renewed understanding of money and how abundancy feels to me.

Learning to forgive |

A couple of weeks ago, I start to read a new manifesting book and for the first time in my entire manifesting history, it started by talking about the importance of forgiveness.

Start reading about the Law of Attraction and one of the first things that you will discover is that you have to create space in your life for things that you want. In some cases, this can be acting as if and if it’s a physical manifestation, it can sometimes be helpful to physically create space. But more often than not – at least for me personally – this means creating space within your mindset, beliefs or vibration.

This book gave a suggested activity that was really simple but within a few minutes of sitting down to complete the exercise, I knew that it would be a game changer.

It suggested making a list of the key people, situations or events that you wanted to forgive and then going ahead and affirming that you were choosing to forgive them.

I did this and something really interesting happened – most of my forgiveness list actually related directly back to me. Aside from the one or two that were aimed at other people, 90% of that list involved things that I had done and so it become pretty clear that I needed to forgive myself.

This is still very much a work in progress but something that I am now choosing to work on daily.

Let me know if you have had any interesting 2019 reflections and what are your goals for 2020?

I have created a special blog page with my goals for the year, which I am going to keep up to date as we progress through the year. Go check that out to see my 2020 vision or if you’re looking for some inspo.

Kay Page